Hello world! My Name Is Uncle Ruck. No relation to that cartoon guy. Well , he is really my uncle but I don't like to tell people that because at every family reunion he gets drunk and starts calling everybody ni@@ers.Uncle Murda is actually my uncle too. You may ask yourself , why does he call himself Uncle Ruck? Because I wanted to be an uncle too gotdamnit! I can't have kids due to my only having one testacle. I call him James. I am an Artist/Producer from Birmingham , AL and no I am not a product of incest. Well ; maybe. I like to spit my little raps from time to time , I usually have my daughter write them for me in my hip - hop sweat shop downstairs. Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone. I make beats also or as I like to call them , Melody Babies. Aren't they cute? I am also the only producer to ever make Kanye West and Pharrell Williams cry actual tears. Yes! I said it! Tears! I played them a track the other day and they said that it was so terrible that they wanted to cry ; and then they cried. I've also been compared to many great hip-hop artists such as Craig Mack , Mc Hammer , Regis Philbin , etc. I like to slap the shit out of random old ladies just to see the expression on their faces right before they have a heart attack. Priceless! My other hobbies include tracking down everyone who posts hateful things about me on the internet and crapping on their porches. And their dogs and children. Nothing like camping out after the deed is done and watching someone step onto the front porch and receive my surprise. Priceless! Seriously though , I am just a regular guy , making regular music , having regular fun. So reach into your pockets and buy my crap with some of your regular money! Thank you for reading. Wait ; I didn't know you could read! For services or info contact UncleR. at uncleruck@gmail.com or 205-213-8369. Any further inquiries contact WizHoffa the NoizeMob General at www.myspace.com/wizhoffa or at imreallydatdude@gmail.com Autobiography of Uncle Ruck was written by The Honorable Flava Flav. Comments.... "I learned everything I know from him! Honestly. Without him ; there is no me!" -Dr.Dre "I wanted to sign him but just couldn't afford him. His stock is just too high!" -JayZ "That's right! Spaceship was about me. You got a problem with that?" -LaRonica from the projects of the galaxy Nebulon 6 "I listened to one of his beats and got pregnant instantly." -Paris Hilton "He's one of the best artist I've heard in years!" -Vanilla Ice "We just did some tracks the other day and I must say that I was impressed. Wait a minute! Is that camera on? I'm supposed to be dead here!" -Tupac Shakur "Everytime I see him I just wanna get naked!" -Your Momma